(Roger Fisher and William Ury)
You can change the game. You start by changing your attitude.
Separate the people from the problem.
Attack the problem and never the people.
Focus on interests, not on positions.
Invent options that benefit both sides.
What is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement, your BATNA?
(Dr. Norman Vincent Peale)
Always play with abandon.
The next time you’re faced with a problem, try a new approach.
Make up your mind to win and nothing else.
It is always too soon to quit.
All the resources you need are in your mind.
Failure comes most often to people who are unable to focus themselves.
We tend to become precisely like that which we habitually imagine ourselves to be.
(Robert M. Bramson)
Do not automatically respond by trying to solve difficult people’s problems.
Do not automatically agree with difficult people even if you think they are right.
Never argue with difficult people.
Always feed back the difficult person’s main points before you do anything else.
Remember people’s names and what they tell you.
Remember what you are doing, what you are supposed to do, what you have and have not done.
Be sure what you want to remember is collected and connected.
Link what you do not know to what you do know.
Do you always follow through on promises?
Do you get back with people who are trying to get in touch with you?
Do you communicate a sincere interest in the person with whom you are communicating, even if he or she is boring or difficult? Do you give the person the impression that you want to help?
Do you take the initiative to find a way to help, a way to say yes?
People do not want to know what you cannot do for them; they want to know what you can do for them.
Clear communication is your responsibility, not the other person’s.
You cannot listen and talk at the same time.
(Peter F. Drucker)
It is your vision or its absence that shapes your future.
Assignments change all the time and unpredictably, although the job may not change.
You cannot build performance on weaknesses; you can only build it on strengths.
The things you did to get a promotion are not the things you need to do now.
The ultimate test of success is success.
If you don’t think you deserve success, you will do things to keep you from getting it.
It is not the lack of time that is the problem, it is the lack of direction.
How can you reach a goal you do not have?
You will get everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.
You cannot reach someone else’s goal.
In order for a goal to be effective, it must affect change.
You go as far as you can see; and when you get there, you always will be able to see further.
People who wait for an external change before they make an internal decision will get cooked in the squat, never succeed.
Just because you are running doesn’t mean you have to like it.
Stinking thinking leads to hardening of the attitudes.
You can only start from where you are with what you’ve got.
You don’t climb the high mountain by yourself; it is in conjunction with others that you really accomplish the major things in life.
If you don’t have power, you cannot do anything, you cannot protect yourself, you cannot get anything done yourself.
Your interests are not the interests of somebody else.
The best way to think about power is to think about it as a game, a game with rules and moves.
No one ever succeeded in business by sitting quietly at their desk and doing what they are told.
Do everything you do as if it were the only thing that mattered.
When dealing with a challenging person, analyze the problem and not the person.
What are you expecting the person to do? What is an acceptable response? Specifically, what is the difference between what you expect and what they are doing?
Start by asking the person what’s the problem? They will likely tell you.
Focus more on what the person is doing right and less on what they are doing wrong.
Be sure to follow up, give feedback.
How you say something is often more important than what you say.
If everyone only did what they were supposed to do, nothing would get done.
Winners never pre qualify in advance in the negative.
Winners dwell on the rewards of success and not on the penalties of failure.
Look for one good idea to pull your trigger on.
Your performance will move up or down to meet your self image.
There is still plenty of time to win but never enough time to lose.
With papers (or information in general), you can trash it, refer it, act on it, or file it.
Follow up on each action not complete at the time you take it.
Deal with things when they come up, not later.
Any task is a priority that requires you to be at your personal best.
Spend your time doing what you can do today, a day’s work for today.
(Kevin J. Murphy)
Do you relax and concentrate on the moment at hand?
Do you think about your response while the other person is talking?
Are you often disinterested in what the other person is saying? This usually reflects a disinterest in the person as well as in what they are saying.
Do you have pre conceived thoughts, opinions, and ideas? As soon as your mind senses similarities, it stops searching for differences.
If you always judge new experiences based on past experiences, you will never have any new experiences.
Do you interrupt people before they have finished talking? Thinking about what you want to say while they are talking is a version of the same behavior.
Think about what you want to say before you say it.
In one sentence, what do you want the listeners to do when you have finished talking?
In one sentence, what is your main idea, the point of what you will say?
Your listeners will not wait for you to become interesting. You have to interest them from the beginning.
Dive right in. Do not apologize or explain why you are not more prepared or a better speaker.
Plan the ending or close before you plan the middle. Know where you are going before you plan how to get there.
Creativity is the ability to imagine that which does not exist; but does not mean imagining something completely new.
Waiting on an inspiration is useless. Start on the problem and then the ideas will come.
Inspiration usually comes to those who have done the groundwork.
If you look, think, and behave like everyone else, you will look, think, and behave like everyone else. If you are just like everyone else, who needs you?
Losers think there is nothing they can do; winners think there is always something they can do.
Do not set a single win lose goal. set a range of success criteria.
It is impossible to come up with a creative solution when you have not yet come up with a puzzle to work on.
Ask yourself; what can be added, what if this were exaggerated, what else can this be used for, what is being wasted that can be put to use, what else is like this, what else can be adapted to do this, how can this be done better or more cheaply, how can this be made more appealing, what can be substituted, what can be subtracted, can it be done faster, what ideas can be combined, how else can this be arranged?
Fear of failure, criticism, rejection, or ridicule are the greatest barriers to your creativity.
(Milo O. Frank)
Most speakers bore us in minutes when they could interest us in seconds.
No matter how long you have to talk, the heart of the matter should take no more than thirty seconds; the rest is preparation or follow through.
Have a clear cut objective, only one, and stick to it.
What is your game plan, your thesis? In one sentence, capture the essence of your approach. How does it relate to the needs and interests of your listener?
Know what you want, who can give it to you, and how to get it.
Always plan your close ahead of time.
Do not be a stress sponge, absorbing the stress of others, thinking you should fix their stress.
There will always be more things to do than there are hours in the day to do them.
Do not be a stress spreader and stay away from pity parties and gripe sessions.
Look ahead and try to anticipate potential problems.
Things always take longer than you expect so plan on it, add an extra half hour to how long you think any task will take.
(Michael G. Trachtman)
Just because you have it in writing does not mean you have a contract.
Just because you did not sign anything does not mean you have not made a deal, no matter what the amount.
Be sure you understand everything to which you are agreeing including the fine print and what the other person thinks you are agreeing to.
You are always judged by appearances.
Always try to be the one who is making the offer, writing the contract.
Have a healthy skepticism for what can go wrong.
You usually do not get what you do not ask for.
(Jeffrey P. Davidson)
You and you alone are in charge of your own career.
In one sentence, what is it that you are marketing; what is it that you have to offer the world?
Take on jobs others do not want; go the extra mile; work harder when unsupervised; get credit for and give credit to the group; make your boss look good; help younger and newer people succeed; know what’s needed and not just what’s asked for.
Look for the facts and feelings behind what people are saying or doing.
Show that you understand that other people have ideas, problems, and solutions that are worth attention.
After someone has spoken to you, ask questions, reflect on what they have said, discuss what actions you will take based on what they said.
(Robert B. Tucker)
Your awareness of change and ability to deal with change are the keys to your success in today’s world.
Master the skill of changability.
Think about what your customers want or might want if you had it.
Be an opportunity spotter.
Ask yourself; what’s really going on here; what am I missing; where is the unexploited opportunity in this situation, problem, development?
How and where can I improve my company, improve the way we create customer satisfaction, improve the way we meet the needs of our employees, the way my company operates.
Winners trust their intuition and act on it with little hesitation.
Read/listen for what jumps out at you, what does not fit.
Look for patterns and connections in what you read and hear, including incongruities and what does not fit or belong.
Improve the speed or delivery of your product or service; Make it more convenient; go for lowest possible cost or highest possible quality; make it less complex for your customer.
Over using your best people equals playing favorites. It may feel like the only reward for good work is more work.
Praise should be reserved for the employee’s best work, not as a comparison to other employees.
When two or more people work together, there will be conflict. If the conflict is not resolved, it will sabotage the work and the team.
Conflict is only bad if it becomes personal, destructive, or lasts too long.
Beware of conflict that resolves because one person or side simply caves in for whatever reason. That is just trouble waiting to happen.
Do not put out your plan, solution, or idea before everyone has had a chance to put out their’s.
It is your job to keep the discussion going until all the good ideas are on the table.
Now you know so there you go.